SKU: 87901754121

Apocalyptic Ape #6969 Kids "Not Hot" Sauce

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Ships within 48 hours · Estimated delivery Jul 28 - Aug 2

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Description

Apocalyptic Ape #6969 Kids "Not Hot" SauceNot Hot Sauce Training Wheels for Future Spice Lords Not Hot Sauce is what you get when you want all the chaos of Apocalyptic Rations flavor with none of the fire department involvement. This bottle is built for tiny rebels, spice cowards, and flavor fans who want zero burn and maximum drip. Cane sugar, peaches, and red chili puree come together to make a sweet, tangy glaze that tastes like a fruit stand that survived the apocalypse. Tomatoes, jalapeo

“Not Hot” Sauce – Training Wheels for Future Spice Lords

“Not Hot” Sauce is what you get when you want all the chaos of Apocalyptic Rations flavor with none of the fire department involvement.

This bottle is built for tiny rebels, spice cowards, and flavor fans who want zero burn and maximum drip. Cane sugar, peaches, and red chili puree come together to make a sweet, tangy glaze that tastes like a fruit stand that survived the apocalypse. Tomatoes, jalapeño peppers, cayenne, and capsicum oil are present in micro-doomsday doses, just enough to bring authentic chili flavor without lighting a single tongue on fire.

Vidalia onions (1.34% by weight, because we’re nerds) plus minced onion and salt lend that mellow, caramel-y, savory note, while vinegar keeps it bright and dippable. Smooth, clingy texture that coats nuggets, fries, and anything your future hot sauce fiend is willing to test.

This is the gateway bottle. Today, “Not Hot.” Tomorrow… Scorpion Dust.

Flavor Profile:

  • Sweet: Cane sugar, peaches, and tomato for candy-adjacent glaze vibes

  • Tangy: Vinegar and chili puree keep it bright, not boring

  • Savory: Vidalia onions, minced onion, and salt for gentle umami depth

  • Chili Flavor, Zero Fear: Red chili, jalapeño, cayenne, and capsicum oil in baby-step amounts

Heat Level: NONE
All flavor, no fire. Approved for kids, grandparents, and people who think black pepper is “a lot.”

Best Deployed On: Chicken nuggets, fries, tater tots, mac and cheese, grilled cheese, pizza crusts, rice bowls, and any bland post-collapse snack in desperate need of sweet, tangy, zero-risk chaos.

Ingredients: Water, Cane Sugar, Red Chili Puree, Vinegar, Peaches, Jalapeno Peppers, Salt, Minced Onion, Tomatoes, Vidalia Onions, Cayenne Pepper, Xanthan Gum, And Capsicum Oil.

Refrigerate After Opening. 1.34% Vidalia Onion by Weight. May Contain Pits.

Shipping Notes
  • Free Standard Shipping on $100+ Orders to the USA.
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Exchange/Return Notes
  • We offer a 30-day return/exchange service after receiving.
  • Final sale items are not eligible for returns or exchanges.
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SKU: 87901754121

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4.3 ★★★★★
Based on 7 reviews
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M
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Monty
New York, US
★★★★★ 5
Good size
This works for most of the items (powder like cinnamon or beet root, etc.0 i need it for. I would like to have one that is 50 oz. It is airtight and a great product but I'm not convinced pumping it 20-30 times really helps.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2025
S
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Stacy
Cuba, US
★★★★★ 4
Good product/unsure of air seal
We love this to hold our coffee beans, but we aren’t sure if it truly seals air out. It seems to work great though and our beans taste fresh!
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Reviewed in the United States on January 22, 2025
A
Verified Purchase
Artlover06
Omaha, US
★★★★★ 5
Love it!!
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Reviewed in the United States on July 12, 2025
J
Verified Purchase
James Brown
Carnegie, US
★★★★★ 1
Does not hold a vacuum
It does not hold a vacuum. I am able to pump and cause a vacuum where I cannot take the top off without pushing the relief button but give it a few hours and the vacuum is gone. Coffee is stale in a few days and I have gained nothing but the expense.
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Reviewed in the United States on March 6, 2025
C
Verified Purchase
CJKrab
Chelsea, US
★★★★★ 2
Does not hold a seal very long
Looks good. Quality materials and construction. Vacuum seal doesn’t seem to last very long. After a day the lid can be easily opened, regardless of how many times you pump it beforehand. More aesthetic than functional.
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Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2025

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